On Infirmity

Whenever I get sick, it’s always a struggle for my spirit, aside from physical. Illness brings melancholia to me. As it is a fact that most people are at their worst when they’re sick, I feel I am even much, much worse. It doesn’t help a bit that some people could not fathom the idea of doctors getting sick; my patients expect me to be well all the time because, they say, I know a lot about diseases and their mechanisms. In reality, doctors are more prone to get sick, like some sort of work hazard, because of greater exposure to infective microorganisms. And so, in this season of colds and cough, I once again caught the flu a few weeks ago (despite high dose vitamin C!).

The late nights, numerous activities & hospital infection took a toll on me. I was forced to stay in bed for several days. My joints & muscles were sore. I was weak to the core. Every attempt to stand up caused my knees to wobble and my head to throb. The situation got even worse when the flu complicated with my hyperacidity. I felt nauseated and dizzy, regardless of whether I eat or not.

Nevertheless, I still had several things to be glad about during those times. As I stayed at home, I was able to rest my tired body. Some of my friends say, I do abuse it by pushing my physical strength to the limits. I had the chance to ponder about the real source of my strength. Most of the people who know me say that I am very bubbly and hyperactive. My infirmity reminded me of my vulnerability as a human. During those times my only source of hope was God. I had to hold on to His promise of having the best plans always. To avoid being grouchy, I had to ask for more grace to be patient, to believe that everything will be alright, despite the setback I was in at that moment.

Getting sick also gave me the opportunity to interact with my family more. To be in temporary house arrest is a privilege to be pampered by my parents…Haay! Miss ko na rin pala ang asikaso nila. Miss rin nila siguro ang paglalambing ko. Infirmity teaches me humility to some extent, to ask help from others when I need it (Jay, salamat sa pagsundo! Jor salamat sa pag-alalay sa simbahan at pagbili ng gamot!), to allow others to take care of me (Thanks,Ma!) I also had time to watch TV with my siblings more, or just sit with them to chat. I spent quality time with my family, indeed. ;p

Lastly, and this is nice to know, I was supposed to attend to an errand for Anawim1 when I got sick. It has been our (the volunteer nurse & I) plan to buy a glucometer2 for the institution. I was tasked to canvass the price and make the purchase, but infirmity made it an impossible feat. To my surprise & delight, it was a blessing in disguise that I was not able to do the errand; for during the week that I was sick, benefactors donated not just one, bet even three glucometers for the elderly! If I was able to buy, sayang naman ang mga almost 2,000 pesos, hindi na pala kailangan! Coincidence?!? I’d like to believe it is divine providence.

Galing lang talaga ni God!

God is Love…Love moves in mysterious ways! ;p

-------------------------------------------------------------



1 Anawim – literally God’s poor; the Lay Missions Foundation, ministry of Light of Jesus Community for Abandoned Elderly

2 Glucometer – the automated tool used to measure one’s blood sugar levels